Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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