oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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