mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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