Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
