Whod you bang
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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