Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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