Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
