dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
