this boner is exhausting
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
