you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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