I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
