At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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