well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
