If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
