I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
