I just made out with a guy for $7.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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