He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
