Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
