there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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