carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
