Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
