New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
