You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
