Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
