It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
