My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Let's get the cat blown out
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
