Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
