I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
