We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
