he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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