Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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