Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize