Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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