I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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