tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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