You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
