This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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