i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
