This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Bring me that man meat
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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