Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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