everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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