you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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