is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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