You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
