Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
