she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
