My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
