Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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