I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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