Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize