with your own penis?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize