that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
