dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
