Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's the barista slut.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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