Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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