Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize