The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the day after is always just damage control
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
