I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
