i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
