i just wanna soil my oats bro
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
