his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
