The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
