I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize