He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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