i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize