I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
