Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
