Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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