Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
