It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
