Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
